In my mind yesterday was going to be a great day.
I headed out of town to teach an intuitive workshop to some youths at Camp OUT-Doors. This was the first time I was going to teach younger people and I felt a tad nervous. Teaching and speaking with youths is something I felt I was being called to do for the past 10 years but have been too afraid to step into. Despite the nervousness it felt like a pretty good day and the confidence was building as I drove two hours to the camp. Yes, I thought, I am making good time and should be there 30 minutes early.
Then things started going sideways.
As I was driving along I noticed there weren’t and signs or markers signaling the camp ahead. Oh well, Waze will get me there. It guided me off the main road and then onto a dirt one. Next it guided me to turn but there was no entrance or turn off. I drove around for a bit thinking it was just a little off since I was in the woods. After doubling back and still not finding it I pulled into someone’s driveway to ask for help.
Turns out I wasn’t the first and probably won’t be the last.
Waze was sending people to the back gate, except you couldn’t get in that way!
Oh crap, what am I going to do? I am lost, the workshop is supposed to start in 15 minutes and I can’t get a signal because I’m in the woods! Panic starts to set in then I start laughing at myself. Here I am on my way to teach about intuition and I wasn’t paying any attention to mine and got myself lost.
Well not much I can do except head back towards town. Then it dawned on me, use Apple Maps.
Oh thank goodness, this one knows the way!
Time to start heading in the right direction. Even though I know I won’t be there in time I decide I am not giving up.
Finally I arrive, albeit, 30 minutes late.
I was so flustered by then I forgot what I was doing. Instead of giving myself time to get grounded and centered I just jump in and started talking. Unfortunately for the youth my energy was scattered and I didn’t reign it in. I forgot to use my tools in my spiritual tool box. On top of that I noticed a few of the youths had already checked out energetically. Needless to say it wasn’t my best workshop.
I rambled a bit and tried to walk them through some of the exercises but the energy just wasn’t there. Did I share that with them, no. It might have gone better if I did. There were a few that seemed interested in learning but my energy was so scattered it felt like it just fell apart. I kept on though and as rough as it was I got through it.
Needless to say I was pretty hard on myself on the drive home.
I kept replaying it in my mind over and over again. And yet I knew there was a lesson in it for me.
There had to be.
It wasn’t until I started typing this up that I found it.
The lesson I had wanted to convey to them:
- Don’t give up
- Focus on the hits
- Let go of the misses
- Stay grounded
- Maintain your energy
- You are new at this and you will screw up from time to time. Give yourself permission to do so.
- Accept help from others (physical and non physical)
- Lighten up and make it fun
- Trust and believe in yourself
- Be gentle with yourself
Funny how the lesson seems to be more for me. Granted isn’t that how life usually works though?
As sit here and reflect on the day I can see it really was a good day.
And I am grateful for those wonderful youths who became my teacher.